Big Papa Lee's Progress Report

Update from Sue – November 2, 2009

onepencil — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 05:12:16 +0000

Dear Friends & Family,

It’s been 54 days since I last held Lee in my arms and out of habit I still find myself looking for him everywhere. After he passed, I couldn’t believe I wasn’t limping or lop sided because I actually felt like I’d had an amputation that left me with an enormous piece missing. Initially, I was dazed and numbly mechanical just sort of lost in the void of my strange little universe. In spite of all that, amazingly enough, as incredible as it may seem I was truly never broken. Lee’s determination to help us land gently on the tarmac of our new lives unfolded without a hitch. With his optimism and direction the plan worked exactly as he had mapped it out. Within just a few short days we were busy worker bees with a community of helpers putting the finishing touches on the event he’d planned for the 26^th of September. I believe everyone in attendance knew we sincerely wanted to thank them and could genuinely sense that Lee celebrated a special connection with each and every one. In the days that followed I began to look over our first notebook that we had written together during his final days. I was ready to reflect on what he had planned for my days to come, what Lee often referred to as my ‘new life’. Using my ticket to see Oprah was the very first item on the list. My girlfriend Jodi set up everything, the room, the flight, even reservations for dinner. My heart was still trying to build the enthusiasm to go. At that point, I was still trying on my new skin everyday hoping to figure out who this new girl might be. I never realized how much passion Lee added to my hopes and dreams simply by being a part of them. As the day of departure approached I began to feel the real magnitude of this experience. In a weird way this was the ‘new’ beginning. Part of me felt like everything was sort of falling into place but the other part of me was so bittersweet because I knew it meant that my Levi was truly gone. I asked him constantly in my prayers to ‘come with me’, be my wing man and help me with my first big step in the ‘new world’. All the while my girlfriends and family were encouraging me to help build momentum for this incredible experience. On Monday when our flight left the runway I could feel Lee smiling over my shoulder the whole flight and by Wednesday morning his essence was so thick I could feel him with me with every beat of my heart. Jodi and I hadn’t slept all night, we were such a mess! We were so stinking excited we totally could not believe it was truly going to happen. I thanked Lee openly that morning for this wonderful dream fulfilling gift and said, but you know…… I’d really love to get a photo with Oprah. Jodi just rolled her eyes, because she thinks its nuts that I still talk to you let alone make ridiculous requests. But guess what baby, she’s a believer now! Honest to God, Lee, you KNOCKED IT OUT OF THE PARK!!!!! Oh My God! I met Oprah, I talked with Oprah, and she held me in her loving arms for what seemed like an eternity. I met Dave Sayer, Publishing Clearing House’s delivery man for their prize patrol, won $25,000 which they insisted on paying my tax and well you know the rest. All I can say is, I believe in you and I always will. You’ve always been and you continue to be my compass. Just as I’ve always been, and will continue to be, your Susie.

I need to make a huge shout out to all of you that have graciously called, written and emailed to congratulate me. Your enthusiasm speaks volumes as to the size of your hearts.

This link will give you to a peak of that awesome day, just click on Action News 8 video http://www.ksbw.com/news/21458150/detail.html

And for fabulous photos of Lees event just click here and enjoy!

http://www.kodakgallery.com/gallery/creativeapps/slideShow/Main.jsp?token=192398778703:1823865025

To my family, friends, and community, you’ve made an enormous difference in my life and how welcome I feel walking alone. I miss my Levi every day but because of you I never feel lonely. I struggle to find the words that could show my genuine gratitude.

Thank you for your continued blessings,

Sue

In Everlasting Memory of Lee Draper — Scotts Valley Banner

onepencil — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 04:08:22 +0000

The link below is the piece that appeared in the Scotts Valley Banner about Lee, Sue, Kelsey and Matt. Just click the link (sometimes twice) to view the document…

leedraper

In Everlasting Memory of Leland “Lee” Draper

onepencil — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 06:02:21 +0000

In everlasting memory………….
Leland “Lee” David Draper
December 1, 1950-September 9, 2009

Great Friend, Amazing Father, Incredible Husband.

Lee found his way Home on 09/09/09 at 3 – 2 – 1 am. Lee is survived by his sisters’ Sue Shirley and Deni Silberstein, his wife and best friend Sue ‘Susie’, his extraordinary children Matt, Kelsey, Jeremy and Mandy, and his most adored grand children Kadelyn and Jameson.

Lee and Sue made Scotts Valley their home in 1976, where they raised their 2 children, Matt and Kelsey and where they shared a thriving a Real Estate career. Lee was diagnosed with a GIST tumor in 2002, and although terminal, and despite all the heartache that it presented, he continued to live his life to the fullest surrounded by family and friends in his community.

In Dec 2007, Lee was diagnosed with Leukemia. With his wife in tow, he embarked on a 20 month journey of hospitalizations, treatments, remissions, and relapses that could have weakened the most devoted man’s constitution. But Lee was a rock. Our tenacious supporters saw Lee through two miraculous remissions. In June 2009, we were all deeply saddened to learn that his Leukemia had returned.

Lee spent his remaining days with his Susie at their cabin in the Scotts Valley Mountains. Basking in the fruits of his labor he enjoyed all the beauty that life has to offer– sunny days, the babbling creek, glorious open spaces and the warm smiles of all his children. Lee philosophized “if the substance of a man’s life is measured by the people that loved him, he will die a very rich man”. And so he did. His contagious laughter and ‘can do’ spirit will be felt remembered by all.

Lee intended to share his gratitude with our community, in his last days he planned an event for Saturday, September 26, in Scotts Valley. To attend, please contact: kelseybelles@sbcglobal.net or call (831) 440-9218 to get details and location. For all those loving souls wishing to send flowers, the family hopes you’ll consider donating blood or platelets at amandac@meadegroup.biz or the Red Cross.

We take great comfort in knowing, “Where we go One, We go All”~
We lovingly share our journey with you.

Living in the Here and Now can be found at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9IFYlFRN9A

Photos from Lee and Sue Draper
Music by Darryl Worley, “Living in the Here and Now”

What a Wonderful Life — September 9, 2009

onepencil — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 19:14:42 +0000

In keeping with his unique approach to life Lee found his way back Home on 09/09/09 at 3:21 this morning, and ‘as planned’, he departed in his sleep. Each one of us has contributed an important element to this extraordinary passage. Lee extends his gratitude from the deepest level of his soul for all our participation. So as you would expect, he has planned a final soirée for us on Saturday, September 26th (details will follow) to ensure that everyone involved has a safe return back to their own personal journey.

For myself, I can’t find the words to express the magnitude of your role for supporting me on such a winding path while I was walking my baby back Home.

Love, Sue

Update — September 8, 2009

onepencil — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 17:00:37 +0000

When I sent Julie (pencil 1) my letter of August 30^th, I included a note that it would be my final posting. It was my impression that with our decision to discontinue treatment we would be at the end of our ‘story’. You’ll have to forgive me because in the school of life, where every thing is ‘learn as you go’, given our resolution I assumed our class had ended. Almost immediately I took on a new posture of closing up shop. We’d had a 20 month run of disease and treatment that delivered both letdown and jubilation and I figured I had to accept at long last, it had come to an end. I poignantly stand corrected. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Probably what threw me off course was my illusion of what life really is, because I always thought it was the opposite of death. Now I know these rivers run side by side and frequently connect. My family has worked hard with me to create a quiet natural environment for Lee to find his way Home again. In my heart we did this for him, little did I know that in the stillness we created, I would find my way too. I think standing so close to death teaches us the most we can learn about life. That’s definitely what surprises me most about your courage to stay the course with us. You voluntarily stepped outside your ‘safe’ routine to allow the emotions we are feeling course through your veins. Always on the blind faith that we would never leave your open heart in some dark and isolated place, for this I am humbly honored. We’ve established an unbreakable bond that binds us and most of you without even a glimpse of us during these months and for others of you it has been years. That, my friends and family is the exquisite beauty of dying and no other event in our lives will takes us there as far or as fast. I can tell you honestly I always felt safer because you were with me.

Thank you for listening; although I spend a great deal of my time alone, because I carry you with me and hear from you daily, I never feel lonely.

Most sincerely,

Lee & Susie

Making Memories — The Draper Family

onepencil — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 04:42:28 +0000

Through the years in our line of work Lee and I have had the pleasure to be on the ‘inside’ of hundreds of families. What always rang true, no matter what the circumstances, we discovered we are all more alike than we are different. These brought back some great memories for us. Someday soon, just for fun, you ought to sit down with your family and take a trek down memory lane, it’s the road that got you here today.

Lee’s having a great day watching the Giants with Matt & Mandy. These are extraordinary times.

If you cannot view the video above visit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5jPUJnft_oI

Photos from Lee and Sue Draper
Music is Keith Urban’s “Making Memories of Us”

Update — September 5, 2009

onepencil — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 15:10:55 +0000

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven….

This morning I crawled in bed with Lee to snuggle and rub his back for awhile. I told him what a privilege it had been to care for him and how much I appreciated all I’d come to understand. He responded in a frail whisper, my crossing over has taken all these months “so you could pack”. I figured he must be experiencing some kind of confusion or dementia so I asked him “are we going someplace”? He said no, you are. Just trying to go with the flow I asked, what am I packing for? And he said, a new life. It took me a moment for me to recognize that he was completely coherent and he was also totally right. The dawning of that realization brought on a peace beyond comprehension. I had often thought that he had lasted so long because I’m not good at saying Goodbye and he was gently helping me to let go. But in his simple words he has paid me the highest compliment and given me the greatest gift. He has let me know that all my actions had purpose and with purpose there is always hope.

It’s really impossible to describe what this week has been like. There’s been warmth and humor and solitude. Having Matt & Kelsey at our sides has made an incredible difference for both Lee and I. Having you with us is ‘packing well’.

I have gathered all your hugs for our final embrace, smile for us, and enjoy one another for we all have purpose.

All our love,
Lee & Susie

In Spite of Ourselves-Tribute to Lee and Sue

onepencil — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 14:20:44 +0000

If you cannot see the above video go to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ketRPpqEVrs

Update — August 30, 2009

onepencil — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 21:24:47 +0000

As the maestro taps his baton against the podium gaining attention from every member of his symphony, he smiles in complete satisfaction. Each section has been tuning up their own instrument to participate in unison for this final performance. Our maestro has been rehearsing this over and over in his mind for some time. He’s been trusting us to each practice on our own and commit to our own level of excellence for this big occasion. He knows that nothing could disappoint him and that every musician is perfect for their part. In the quiet hesitation, before the presentation commences, the maestro is unexpectedly awestruck with the total comprehension that in this enormous stage there are no spectators, and there never really was, only fellow contributors warming up and waiting for their cue. He finds in the landscape of his gaze the music of his soul and a peace comes over his anticipation to perform. All his nerves are settled by his confidence in each of us and what we have accomplished. We have all come far together and he will never forget us.

On Thursday, when only shear will could get Lee to the car, we shared the decision that this would be our last rounds of transfusions. At the end of the day, we said goodbye to our team of angels at Dominican and drove the stretch at West Cliff one last time to soak in the marvel of what we have. As a couple and as a family we lovingly gave Lee our unconditional permission to discontinue all his medications and “just relax”. This man with the spirit of a Viking has done all he needs to do. Lee has always considered me the Glue to our family & friends, and as true as that may be, Lee will always be our structural integrity. Our children united with us on Saturday morning to meet with Hospice and as a team we charted the best possible course to get their Dad back Home. We all cherish the time we have left and feel blessed we never wasted a moment of love or laughter.

Thank you again for giving us a safe place to share our feelings, but more than that, in the departure from this life, a voice.

In the true spirit of family and friendship,
Lee & Susie

Update — August 28, 2009

onepencil — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 05:36:36 +0000

I’m guessing from the many heartfelt pleas through emails and phone calls to see Lee one last time that you’re beginning to realize it’s time for us all to slip into our safety jackets and pull the cord very tight. The winds of change are upon us once again and although no one can come to any real harm, I often have the genuine sense of drowning. Who knew our human emotions could run so deep? So now with great care and consideration to all your all sensibilities I’m ready to respond to these urgent pleas. First off, you can all be absolutely certain you have been heard and felt. Each communication is a cherished caress that brings comfort to our whole family. I have gathered strength from my daily visits with you. You have been my power and my courage all along the way and I thank you for that. I guess I knew you could handle the rest of our story, but simply for privacy up till now, I have chosen to share with you only our emotional struggles and triumphs. My decision was largely due to my own protective impulses to safeguard Lee and try to create a safe environment for him to fight his battle on his own terms. So if it helps to console your feelings of regret, which neither of us would want you to have, I’m inclined to share with you the rest of our story.

On June 10th we ended our last vacation away with Lee beginning to hemorrhage. I remember it well because we cut our trip short for a graduation party for a special friend. It was difficult for me to attend the festivities with my circumstances at home but Lee asked me to go for him, and truth be known, there isn’t anything I couldn’t do anything for my Levi, so I went. I really only made an appearance and immediately returned home but right away I knew this wasn’t just an episode but an entirely new issue that we would have to figure out how to deal with. Almost as suddenly, his white cells soared off the charts, which compounded his already weakened condition, creating even more challenging symptoms from his failing immune system. The worst of my daily struggles is that Lee can’t eat and starvation is ghastly progression to witness. We found solace when he had a positive response to some medications to temporarily combat his symptoms. This respite came with the clear understanding that we were only buying a little time to say goodbye.
Honestly and truly, Lee made unbelievable efforts to see as many people as his conditions would allow, which was sadly far too few for his lofty intentions. In a short order we realized the count down had begun and tomorrow wasn’t going to be any better.

We shared a very intimate yet sobering moment when we recognized that his “good” days were behind us.

I wish things were different. I wish we could have more time with Lee. But if it helps for you to know, I am whole and complete to have shared so much of my life with my best friend. All my abundance comes from what I share. And all I have I share with you.

Thank you for listening and understanding,
Forever Lee & Susie